


Love Me

by woakiees



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, angsty angst, brief mention of suicidal thoughts, connor is my sweet baby boy, mention of smutty smut, some gun violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 16:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20048830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woakiees/pseuds/woakiees





	Love Me

Steaming hot water cascaded down all around you, rolling down your back and shoulders and turning your skin red. On any other day, the initial burn would cause a hiss to escape from your lips as you frantically reached to adjust the temperature in favor of a more comfortable setting, but now, it was almost welcoming. The sting and bite of the boiling water helped you to stay afloat in the midst of drowning — it allowed you to continue to be there, in the moment, rather than trapped away in your thoughts. 

Forehead resting against the shower wall, chest heaving with each raspy breath you took, you tried your hardest to block out the world outside. You willed it all to vanish, hoping that maybe if you prayed hard enough, everything really would disappear and all that would remain were the four walls surrounding. Nothing existed outside of your small bathroom, nothing was real save for the falling water and the heavy thud of your racing heart. 

It was all too much, and you thought, for just a moment, that it would be easier to make yourself disappear. You could do it. Your gun was sitting on the bathroom counter, right next to your DCPD badge, just a few feet away and still fully loaded. It would be so easy to do it. To simply stop existing would put an end to it all, wouldn’t it? The overflow of emotions, the unwelcomed thoughts, the  _ fear _ that you felt deep within the pit of your stomach. It would all just go away, right? 

But you had just visited that option in a way, hadn’t you? 

You had stared death in the face, down on your knees, with the cold barrel of a gun pressed firmly to the center of your forehead. You had begged,  _ pleaded _ for mercy, for him to just let you  _ live _ . But he of course had no intention of letting you walk out of that room, and he was a moment away from ensuring that the only way you would make it out was in a body bag. His finger firmly set on the trigger, literally just  _ seconds _ away from pulling. 

And then there was a single shot, and the splatter of blood against your cheek, but it wasn’t his gun and it wasn’t your blood. 

You had survived. You had made it out of that room physically unscathed, and now here you were, in your shower with an itch for the end. It was pathetic. Ironic, really. 

A  _ gun _ had been held to your  _ head _ , and you were still  _ alive _ . 

Shouldn’t you be happy that you were still alive? That you had survived?

You slammed your hand against the shower wall, a loud smack sounding throughout the bathroom and effectively silencing the soft rustle of the shower curtain being pulled back. You wouldn’t have known anyone was stepping into the shower with you had it not been for the short, cold burst of air against your back. You felt another bout of fear course through your veins, but just briefly until you remembered that he had stayed after bringing you home, and that he would never let anyone with the intent to hurt you make it past your front door. Still, you didn’t turn to look at him. 

Connor stayed silent for a minute or two, watching you, his girlfriend, the love of his life, closely. He found himself checking your vitals just to be safe. Your heart rate was a little high, but he guessed that was to be expected after experiencing something so traumatic. His lips were pursed as he took in the dark crimson shade of your skin, and he slowly reached around you to add some cold water to the scalding stream when you grabbed his wrist. 

“Leave it,” you mumbled quietly, your voice hardly recognizable to the android’s ears. 

Your hold on Connor was tight, but he didn’t complain, nor did he try to pull away. His other hand settled against your shoulder, his thumb rubbing comforting, slow circles against your skin. You suppressed a shiver from rolling down your spine at his touch.

He whispered your name gently, keeping his voice low and tender. “You’re going to hurt yourself, the water is way too hot.”

“I know.”

Connor frowned, quickly pulling his wrist free from your grasp and reaching once again to adjust the temperature. This time, you let him, and you didn’t resist as he spun you around to finally face him. Your eyes were closed, and he took the moment to let his own wander across your body, checking for any injury he might have missed before. The only thing he found was a forgotten speck of dried blood at the tail of your eyebrow, which he quickly worked to remove with his thumb. You leaned into his touch, oblivious to what he was doing, assuming it was just a caring, loving gesture. 

After another few minutes spent in silence, he spoke up again, his finger settling underneath your chin and tilting it upwards. “What can I do? What do you need?”

You instinctively opened your eyes, and Connor smiled. He moved his hand to cup your cheek, his other settling on your waist, and you felt yourself relax for the first time that afternoon at his light touches. 

“If you don’t kiss me right now,” you whispered, emotion flooding your voice causing you to flinch at how weak you sounded. “I think I might fall apart.”

Connor stared into your eyes, seeming to search for something hidden deep within your glowing irises. His eyebrows were furrowed, lips turned down into a small frown of concern and confusion. His lips parted slightly, and he was just about to say something when you threw your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to better reach him, effectively silencing him. 

“I need you to kiss me.”

You then pressed your lips firmly against his — both of your eyes falling shut, both moving in a complete and practiced sync. His hand that had been on your cheek moved to the wall in order to steady you both as he pushed you up against it, your back arching as it collided with the cold and wet tiles, while his other instinctively flew to your hip, pushing you back and holding you firmly in place. 

He had you held so tightly against the wall that you were able to lift your legs and wrap them around him without having to really jump. You held onto his shoulders and pulled him impossibly closer, a moan falling from his lips as you accidentally, or maybe not, ground your hips into his. 

Connor suddenly, and with a great deal of difficulty, pulled his lips away from yours, though his body didn’t move. He swallowed hard, the breath he didn’t really need to take coming out labored and in gasps. The android closed his eyes, shaking his head back and forth rapidly, as if the action would clear his mind.

“Not now,” he quickly said between breathes. “I’m not going to have sex with you right now.”

You gaped at him, eyes full of hurt and something else that Connor couldn’t quite place. Betrayal, maybe? 

“You asked me what I needed and I told you. Please, Con, I  _ need _ you.”

You tried to pull him back to you; to kiss him again but he turned his head at the last second so that your lips only met his cheek. 

“You just went through something traumatic, Y/N. I’m not going to take advantage of you right after.”

“You think that’s what you’re doing? Taking advantage of me?”

Connor stayed silent, his head still turned, eyes locked on a random shampoo bottle. When he didn’t answer, you took it as an invitation to continue talking. 

“You’re not taking advantage of me. I  _ want _ to have sex with you.”

“But-”

“No. Connor, baby, you make me feel safe. You make me feel safe and protected and oh so loved. All the time, not just when we’re having sex. But I just really,  _ really _ need you right now. I need you to distract me, to  _ love _ me.”

Connor slowly turned to face you again, a look of guilt settled upon his face. You knew he wasn’t so sure — still not fully convinced. 

“Please,” you begged, tears starting to form in your eyes as you slowly started to spiral again. “I need you to make me feel safe again.”

And that was all it took for Connor to oblige. 

Because from the first day you met, Connor had made a promise to himself  _ and _ to you that he would always keep you safe. 

He had failed once that day and he wouldn’t fail again, and though he kept that thought to himself, you knew that it had been running through his head since the moment you found yourself in that situation. But Connor had been the one to pull the trigger. He had been the one to save you. He still kept you safe, because he was the reason you were alive, whether he saw it that way himself or not. 

But you didn’t want to think about that. No, all you wanted to think about was Connor’s lips, and the amount of love you felt pouring from them.

You were alive. You were safe. You were loved.

  
  



End file.
